The Great Escape and the Great Wake-Up Call

Since my husband’s “great escape” to heaven, I’ve been invited to several grief support groups. I’ve declined them all because, right up front, I decided to escape from the mindset that I had to grieve and feel sorry for myself. Though I knew I would miss my sweetheart the day he left and every day thereafter, I knew I had a choice to make. I could wallow in tears or be grateful for the years we had together and carry on. Going to a grief support group, I surmised, would only introduce me to other widows and widowers who were still living in their grief beyond, what I thought, was a reasonable "grieving” date. I didn’t want to hang out with those “poor souls”. I had arisen from death to life, taken off my grave clothes and put on a garment of praise and joy. I made a point to smile more than I frowned and to LIVE on

A few weeks ago, I saw that my church has a new “Faith and Grief” Support Group. I dismissed any interest to attend it for the same above reasons. But then I felt a tap, tap, tap on my heart’s door and I started getting those “God” nudges and THAT whisper again. “Donna, be Me!” Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously, God? Once again, my Master Coach was impressing upon me to get out of the “It’s all about me” to “It’s about being the hands, feet AND even the mouthpiece of Jesus.”

So, as a full-fledged veteran widow for eight years, I decided to go to the meeting in “stealth” mode. Be undercover, so to speak. If asked, I'd tell my “victory” story, impress others with my warrior-esque persona and show them all how to move on. Then that ever-so-subtle voice whispered in my ears: “Stop, look and listen, Donna! It's about Me!" I expected to see mostly older folks,, but to my surprise, there were many younger widows, widowers, daughters, sons, sisters, and brothers who had lost loved ones. HELLO, Wake-Up Call! Young, in-between, and old die and all ages can experience great loss.

We were all asked to tell who we are and why we were there. At my table, a young wife and mom of two young sons, responded in tears “The only thing I can get out today is my 40-year-old husband, without any warning, died suddenly last month." She is now having to hold it all together for her young family. There were others – all ages with their own set of circumstances that didn’t need to hear “Time to move on!" They needed tender love and sensitivity, and in the process, realize they are so much wiser than they realize and they are still here for a reason and God has a plan for them.

Because I heeded the nudge of God to go, be and do, I learned that all of our journeys are not the same. I learned we all heal differently. I learned that some pick themselves up by the bootstraps and in spite of the pain, they carry on. I’ve also learned from the Ecclesiastes 3:4 “There’s a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” We don’t all have to fit in the same mold. Some will take longer to recover. For those, Lord, help me to sincerely be your hands extended, reaching out in love and comfort. You said in Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” My hand is raised to be more loving and understanding and to comfort those who mourn and walk with them hand-in-hand until they are able to trade their ashes for beauty and receive the oil of joy instead of the spirit of heaviness. (Isaiah 61:3)

I learned to never judge someone else’s grief or their life or the time it takes for them to heal. In the meantime, I will pray for helping hands to help the single mom or the single dad that is raising their children alone now. I will pray for a mom or dad to show up for the daughter or son who lost one or both of their parents. And, if it’s for me to respond, may I jump up with great joy and enthusiasm and say “Pick me! Pick me!” By the way, I’m now on the Faith and Grief Team. Who knew why I waited so long to give others what I’ve received? Oh, I know. God did!

Spread the Good News!

Everyday, we make choices -- to listen to negativity -- especially in the news and then pass that bad news along. We also have the option to do what Jesus said, "Go into all the world and spread the GOOD NEWS!"

I remember my early years as a Christian how difficult it was for me to share God's "Good News" to those around me. Sure, I did my best to be a reflection of Christ's likeness in my words and deeds, but I wasn't what I thought a disciple was supposed to be like -- the one who queried "Are you a Christian? Do you want to go to heaven when you die? Do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ?" Those words not only intimidated me, but they frightened me when I thought about what the response might be and how I would respond back to them. I remember my church sending us out door to door to hand out Gospel tracks and how difficult it was to engage in conversation with the people at their front doors.

I thought, "How in the world can I be a true follower of Christ if I don't share -- especially since He gave those words "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to all creation." Mark 16:15

As I matured in my walk with Christ, I came to realize that when I wake up each day, I AM His disciple, His messenger, His ambassador and devoted follower as I ensure my words are kind, generous, loving, sincere and caring and my actions are those that do reflect God's love and mercy.

"Going into ALL the world" isn't just about across the oceans, or even knocking on someone's front door, but it's about the smile we offer to the cashier who passes along her smile to the weary wife who’s grabbing a quick lunch, that helps give her the strength to hold the hand of her husband when she gets home that's battling cancer.

We don’t know how the kind word we speak to a friend will give her the courage she needs when she goes to her workplace and has a chance to answer the question, “What’s so different about you?”

So if we aren't being nudged to go to Africa to serve in an orphanage, it doesn’t mean our reach is any less. It’s not any less spiritual. It’s not any less filled with potential and purpose.
We serve a God who is not boxed in by time, circumstances, or geography. He is everywhere, all the time, with everyone. His work in and through us is spontaneous, thrilling, sometimes crazy, and oftentimes the most joy-filled experience EVER. And in any given moment, if we want to know the best place to start sharing His love, all we need to do is look down at the ordinary, sacred ground right under our feet.

Everyday we have the opportunity to touch someone's heart who will in turn touch their family's hearts, who will touch their communities and who will touch the world. All God is really asking of us is our willing heart to be His hands extended to a hurting world that needs our words of encouragement and our hands of tender loving care. THAT is God's GOOD NEWS!