The Great Escape and the Great Wake-Up Call

Since my husband’s “great escape” to heaven, I’ve been invited to several grief support groups. I’ve declined them all because, right up front, I decided to escape from the mindset that I had to grieve and feel sorry for myself. Though I knew I would miss my sweetheart the day he left and every day thereafter, I knew I had a choice to make. I could wallow in tears or be grateful for the years we had together and carry on. Going to a grief support group, I surmised, would only introduce me to other widows and widowers who were still living in their grief beyond, what I thought, was a reasonable "grieving” date. I didn’t want to hang out with those “poor souls”. I had arisen from death to life, taken off my grave clothes and put on a garment of praise and joy. I made a point to smile more than I frowned and to LIVE on

A few weeks ago, I saw that my church has a new “Faith and Grief” Support Group. I dismissed any interest to attend it for the same above reasons. But then I felt a tap, tap, tap on my heart’s door and I started getting those “God” nudges and THAT whisper again. “Donna, be Me!” Oh. My. Goodness. Seriously, God? Once again, my Master Coach was impressing upon me to get out of the “It’s all about me” to “It’s about being the hands, feet AND even the mouthpiece of Jesus.”

So, as a full-fledged veteran widow for eight years, I decided to go to the meeting in “stealth” mode. Be undercover, so to speak. If asked, I'd tell my “victory” story, impress others with my warrior-esque persona and show them all how to move on. Then that ever-so-subtle voice whispered in my ears: “Stop, look and listen, Donna! It's about Me!" I expected to see mostly older folks,, but to my surprise, there were many younger widows, widowers, daughters, sons, sisters, and brothers who had lost loved ones. HELLO, Wake-Up Call! Young, in-between, and old die and all ages can experience great loss.

We were all asked to tell who we are and why we were there. At my table, a young wife and mom of two young sons, responded in tears “The only thing I can get out today is my 40-year-old husband, without any warning, died suddenly last month." She is now having to hold it all together for her young family. There were others – all ages with their own set of circumstances that didn’t need to hear “Time to move on!" They needed tender love and sensitivity, and in the process, realize they are so much wiser than they realize and they are still here for a reason and God has a plan for them.

Because I heeded the nudge of God to go, be and do, I learned that all of our journeys are not the same. I learned we all heal differently. I learned that some pick themselves up by the bootstraps and in spite of the pain, they carry on. I’ve also learned from the Ecclesiastes 3:4 “There’s a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” We don’t all have to fit in the same mold. Some will take longer to recover. For those, Lord, help me to sincerely be your hands extended, reaching out in love and comfort. You said in Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” My hand is raised to be more loving and understanding and to comfort those who mourn and walk with them hand-in-hand until they are able to trade their ashes for beauty and receive the oil of joy instead of the spirit of heaviness. (Isaiah 61:3)

I learned to never judge someone else’s grief or their life or the time it takes for them to heal. In the meantime, I will pray for helping hands to help the single mom or the single dad that is raising their children alone now. I will pray for a mom or dad to show up for the daughter or son who lost one or both of their parents. And, if it’s for me to respond, may I jump up with great joy and enthusiasm and say “Pick me! Pick me!” By the way, I’m now on the Faith and Grief Team. Who knew why I waited so long to give others what I’ve received? Oh, I know. God did!

Blast From the Past – REDEEMING S&H Green Stamps

Most of you youngsters won't remember S&H Green Stamps, but my peers will remember when we’d receive them at the check-out counter of supermarkets, department stores and gasoline stations. S&H Green Stamps were used as reward programs at merchants from the 1930s to late 1980s. I well remember collecting as many books of 1200 stamps as possible because that would mean a new appliance or household item that we selected from a catalog and REDEEM our books for the item that we worked diligently to get.

REDEEM: to buy back, to get or win back, to free from captivity by payment of a ransom, to release from debt, to remove the obligation of payment, to exchange for something of value.

I heard the story of a young woman who found herself suddenly “un-engaged” three weeks before her engagement pictures were scheduled to be taken. It was too late to cancel the photography session, so she went ahead and had a solo shoot done at Disneyland and the photos were published and went viral. But even more remarkable than the photos, was her attitude. She described the day: "It honestly couldn't have been a more beautiful experience, and I was filled with the peace and comfort that only comes from above. I'm so glad I decided to go through with the photos, and more importantly, I'm so grateful for the smallest acts of daily kindness that make all the difference in a broken world." She REDEEMED her pain for beauty and gratitude.

That story reminded me of my own daughter’s heartbreak in her early 20s after a broken relationship. As difficult that it was for her in that season, all of the tragedy was REDEEMED and used for good because it turned her heart to faith in God and service to others as she established her “Cinderella” ministries. She recorded “Cinderella: Dreams Do Come True” song that touched so many lives. I’ll give you the link at the end of this post. She created the Pledge for Purity program that taught the beauty of chastity before marriage and went across the U.S. and Canada speaking to young people about the beauty of purity. There was further REDEMPTION, as she later wore that gorgeous dress, with the addition of North Carolina’s state flower, the flowering dogwood, in the Mrs. America Pageant as Mrs. North Carolina.

Isaiah 61:3 says, "I will give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." Isn't it beautiful that God says He will give us beauty for ashes? There is a redemption plan here. We give Him our ashes and in return, He gives us His beauty. Everybody has wounds; everybody has ashes--and all kinds of them. Those ashes look like rejection, a job loss, a miscarriage, a divorce, an illness, a loss of a loved one, and as my friends in South Texas -- the loss of a home. Ashes happen every place and to everyone.

In both of the girl's testimonies I mentioned above, it is obvious that tragedy can be REDEEMED for beauty AND I personally know that we grow from our experiences – good and bad. That’s WHY God REDEEMS challenges – by using them to show us our need of Him. In that way, we can count ourselves blessed when we face challenges. Jesus taught us “Blessed are those who know their need of God.” (Matthew 5:3).

Whatever it is that is overwhelming in your life today, gather it all up and put it in a safe place of remembrance, because, I assure you – REDEMPTION Day is coming where you’ll trade it in for beauty. Hold on, my child, joy WILL come in the morning!

http://staciwallace.com/cinderella/

And He Gives Beauty for Ashes

Day 214 of Photo Inspirations -- And He Gives Beauty for Ashes
#TBT -- Photos of the Previous Home's Front Porch in Ashes and the New Front Porch in Beauty and Blessings.

At our Life Group Meeting last Tuesday night, Freda Gordon​, one of our precious members, reminded us that it had been 3 years, since the August 3rd-4th, 2012 devastating wild fires raged out of control in Mannford, OK -- just a few miles west of Tulsa -- where 400 families, including Freda, lost their homes. They called it a fire storm.  A fire storm is an intense and destructive fire in which strong currents of air are drawn into the blaze, making it burn more fiercely.

Freda's husband of 43 years, had passed away just 3 months before and her grief was compounded by the unthinkable taking place -- a fire that was so out of control, she was left homeless.

Before the fires made it to her home, Freda said that the Lord was telling her: "Get your stuff and follow Me."  She obeyed that voice and retrieved her quilts and family pictures, a few papers, 3 or 4 days worth of clothes and then went to her daughter's home in Jenks.  She said, "I am no hero and wasn't waiting for it to go from bad to worse. Besides...the Lord was really nagging me to GO!!"  And she did.  Thank God, she heeded His voice and was able to get a few of her most precious treasures out.  She was still reeling from the death of her husband, and was in shock and disbelief at the loss and devastation all around her.

At that time, Freda could have retreated, gone under-cover (bed covers), and refused to carry on.  She could have allowed the ashes of depression and despondency to overtake her. But, instead, she refused to give up and her catastrophes turned into her blessings.  She was able to have a new home built in a new location where she has been such a blessing to her neighbors. The most beautiful part of her story -- is that she didn't let her past dicate her future.   She feels purpose, knows she was led to her present community, and is a blessing to everyone who knows her....including our Life Group, and ME.  What a blessing to know her and see the crown of beauty she wears -- instead of the ashes, the oil of joy, instead of mourning, a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:3.

Without a doubt, Freda turned her sorrows into a beautiful, living witness of God's grace and abiding love in the midst of the storm (fire storm, that is).  She is always encouraging others to "quit fighting it, and start living the life God intends for you to live.  It will be worth all of it."  

Freda also says:  "We all have gone through "fire storms". Maybe not in the literal sense like this, but we have all had those times that we feel we are being attacked from all sides and have no way out. God gives us an escape plan."

I love that.  "God gives us an escape plan".  Perhaps, today, you are reeling from storms or life situations that have devastated your world.  Take heart.  God has an escape plan for you.  He knows right where you are and His plans and purposes are to bring you to a safe place.  "For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11