Birthdays Really Matter

I’m heading back home today after several days of celebrating my son’s birthday with his entire family. How precious for me to be able to be there for all the festivities and moments of sheer awesomeness. And, what a joy for me to be able to hang with the older kids because our sleeping arrangements were in a beautiful 2-bedroom suite overlooking this incredible heaven-on-earth place. I like to think that God gave my kids a heart for including this mama and it sure brings me so much joy.

Our family is BIG on birthdays, and while it may sound child-like to make such a big deal about birthdays, it really shouldn’t, because birthdays mean we made it through another year, and we're still here for a reason. That should be a BIG DEAL to us!

I heard someone say “I’m not having any more birthdays. In fact, I don’t even know how old I am anymore.” And I quickly replied, “Goodness gracious, I'm thrilled to celebrate my birthday. It means I made it through another year." I heard Christine Caine's remarks about birthdays. She said, "The older we get, we downplay having another birthday. We don't want any 'big deals' or ANY attention given to us having another birthday. How silly it is to throw a gigantic, blow-out of a birthday for a one-year old. What has a one year old done to deserve that birthday? Those who have been here for half a century and more are the ones to be celebrated. For goodness sakes, every year that we're still here, we deserve fireworks, celebrations, recognition and tributes..... because we EARNED this birthday and every other birthday! We made it another year."

I remember anticipating my birthdays as a child. As children, we counted down, waited and planned for our birthdays. We wanted special themes: Princess, Super Heroes, Fishing & Hunting, Football, Basketball, etc. We treasured the people who made our birthdays special, the grandmother (me) who created a treasure hunt trail of rhyming notes that led to the grand finale – supremo birthday gift. We were stoked that our friends came bearing gifts and shared our yummy cake, and we loved making a wish and blowing out the candles with just one huge breath.

Let’s be clear – it’s not as much about the presents, as it is of the PRESENCE of those who love us and make us feel…..”I am special”. Here’s the real crux of the matter: No matter who you are or whether or not you had an ideal family life, you always were and always will be a treasure, and on your birthday, you get to rock that truth.

Birthdays say, “You’re special!” That’s what we do with the red “special plate” for the birthday guy or girl and we take turning sharing why they are special to us. Birthdays say, “Hey, you, you’re great! I’m so glad you’re in my life.” And that’s why birthdays are a big deal – because birthdays represent our God-given mission and destiny and every year that we’re here, we get to celebrate our journey.

And with each year.....we have the opportunity to celebrate -- not for just THE day, but EACH day that God gives us. Celebrating it with a merry heart, a glad heart, a thankful heart, a forgiving heart, a heart open to the abundance of God's love and bringing forth fruit, being vigorous and flourishing.

I have a dear friend who doesn't wait for someone to throw her a party. She throws a birthday bash for herself, and she invites us all to join her for her BIG DAY. I love that. She knows she is special to us, so, of course, we celebrate her.

So, today, whether you or 15, 50 or 95.....you are to be celebrated. You're still bearing fruit. You're still here....you're not done!

Gratitude for Simple Pleasures

When itemizing those things we are grateful for, we'll list a lot of things that money affords -- like our home, car, clothes, food, electronics, appliances and all those THINGS that add to our comfort. But now, in retrospect, I realize those precious treasures that money can't buy. The Simple Pleasures.

Thanksgiving usually brings families "home". "Home' isn't necessarily the brick and mortar of the home we live in. For example, my oldest grandson and wife couldn't make it "home" to their families, but they were "at home" with friends who invited them to their Thanksgiving meal. Our 2nd to the oldest grandson couldn't make it home, but was also invited to the home of friends. For me, I've realized "home" is WHERE I AM at the time. Home is Austin, Frisco, Tulsa and anything in between where I seem to "light". Home is family, friends, our church, the places where "simple pleasures" abound.

Ryan, Shawntel and the boys made it to Frisco after spending time with Shawntel's family in Muldrow, OK. I loved the photos she took of their big family gathering of over 60 family members. I loved seeing the cousins having such a good time playing together and being "home" with their precious grandmother. Simple Pleasures.

On their way to Frisco, they made a stop in Tulsa to see Granny for a couple of hours. Granny is my husband's Mom, and at 94, though she's active and vibrant, we just don't know if it could be the last time, so spending time with her is so important. Simple Pleasures.

Then, they made their way to Frisco where cousins could frolic and play and have great fun times together. Ping Pong, Light Saber battles, movies, roller blades, and turkey hats. My traditional day-after-Thanksgiving Waikiki meatballs were the menu yesterday, plus our annual movie theater visit. We loved the new Disney movie, "Moana". The day ended with our "traditional" day-after-Thanksgiving dinner -- Mexican food. Simple pleasures.

Our time together at Thanksgiving has always included my annual family photo being taken. It was always a MUST DO -- that everyone tolerated and because it meant so much to me -- they all always complied. I was excited that my grandson's wedding photo would be this year's photo and it would let the family off the hook for yet another photo. But, my two sweet girls -- without my usual need-to-plead, got everyone dressed in grays, black and white and all I had to do was find a gray top and whoa la -- this year's Thanksgiving photo. Simple pleasures.

It won't be long before all these grandkids will be grown up with families of their own. Yes, I'm so grateful for the blessings of "simple pleasures" -- family and friends that keep reminding me that the greatest blessings on earth come without a price tag.

This is the time for counting our blessings, noticing simple pleasures. It means learning to live our lives as if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much we've been given. Gratitude even shifts our focus from what our life lacks to the abundance of what we already have. Maybe, the best prescription we could take to dispel the common "woe-is-me" attitude is to offer thanksgiving for the "simple pleasures". We just might be re-energized, have new vitality and excitement for this beautiful life that is made up of "simple pleasures"!

I had many of those these last couple of days. We celebrated many "simple pleasures". Yes, it's the simple pleasures that are life's treasures!

The "You Are Special" Plate of Building Love and Confidence

It's "Special Plate" day for my special son, Ryan! It's his birthday! Everyone gets to tell him how special he is to them! I love what he shares here about their family tradition of "The Special Plate"! Maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too! It is sure a confidence builder to those we love!

"People often ask me “How do you do it?” How do I spend so much focused time with my family, at work, training for marathons and with philanthropic causes and still manage to make the time high value and high quality? As I’ve talked about in a previous blog, it is all about living with purpose.

We tend to live in a microwave and fast-food society where we want everything immediately and as cheap as possible. But throughout my life I’ve found that enduring results and reward actually come through consistently doing the right thing with consistency over a long period of time. A good family friend, Tommy Thompson, said to me when our eldest son, Braden, was just 6 years old, “You can never really have quality time with your children unless you have quantity time with them, because you never know when the quality moments will sneak up on you.” There is nothing fast or microwaveable about that.

Early on in our sons’ lives, I decided as a father it was going to be important to establish traditions that could be carried through each of our children’s lives and then be passed down through generations. These traditions would build character, intelligence, values and a heritage. The traditions would also foster a high degree of self-worth and create precious moments with our children.

This is the first of a series of blogs that talks about these different traditions my wife, Shawntel, and I have developed and why I believe they have had a positive impact on our children’s lives and our own as parents.

We have a special red plate that says, “You are special today.” It has become a great symbol in our household. This red plate is placed where our sons sit at the table on days we feel are special or significant for them – it can be a birthday, a graduation, special sporting event or accomplishment, or it could even be the day of a doctor’s appointment. When one of our boys is going to be celebrated, he comes to the table and see the plate in his spot. Immediately, a smile brightens his face because he knows that this morning is his morning. He will get his favorite breakfast and everyone in the family will take a turn telling him why he is special to them. Watching our youngest son wait in anticipation as his older brothers talk about how he is important, valued and unique, creates a sense of happiness, confidence and great worth in him. These moments cannot be replaced or overvalued. Even my wife, Shawntel, and I have come to be excited when we see the red plate at our spot on the table. There is rarely a red plate day without tears of joy.

As a parent, it is vitally important to develop habits that will keep you on purpose with your children. The red plate is an easy way for us to focus on the accomplishments and joys of each of our uniquely special children. Over the years, I passed this tradition on to many of my friends and family. They now use it as their own and it has been so rewarding to hear their positive stories that accompany this new tradition that has been established in their family. This tradition has created such incredible reward for both our children and for us as parents throughout the years.