Bring on the Spotlights -- It's Lent!

I think I get my frugal and prudent spending habits and mindset from parents who were products of the Great Depression when every penny counted. My Mom would sing out “Shut off the lights! Turn up the air conditioner!” And, in the winter, “Turn down the heat and put on a sweater!” So here I am, in the 21st Century and I see her in me. I keep my heat at 63 degrees at night and push it up only a few degrees in the day time and I wear a sweater. I am so conscious of the electric bill that I often shut lights off so much that I have to cautiously maneuver my way through the house to get to the next room.

I promise. I’m going somewhere with my history and economics lesson. Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. It’s the start of the 40-days moving toward Resurrection Sunday. Hallelujah! It’s a time of an interior check-up. A time of turning on the lights, brighter than ever inside the rooms of our hearts, to search out areas that need a good cleaning. Lent is a beautiful time because it helps us to amp up becoming the very best version-of-ourselves. But it doesn’t happen by accident. It happens through an exciting collaboration between us and God.
Psalm 139:23-24 says: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Here’s the deal: Inside our hearts, over time, some less-than-ideal habits show up in our lives. Habits like crankiness, unforgiveness, complaining, worry, unbelief, fault-finding, and other areas that need to be exterminated and cleaned out. The Bible illuminates (lights up) those areas. Brace yourself, I’m lighting up this scripture and, yikes, it packs a punch: “From within the man, from his heart, come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly. All these evils come from within and they defile.” (Mark 7:21-23)

Lord, have mercy! And, bring on the high beams! I don’t like those “evils” because they all represent darkness and I sure don’t want them in my heart or my life. Psalm 119:105 says “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Placing the Bible (the lamp) at the center of our lives is like walking through the house turning on lights. “Ahh, that’s better. Yes, that’s brighter." I love how The Message Bible paraphrases that scripture: “By your words, I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path.” Exactly so. The light of His Word keeps us from stumbling and helps us find our way.
This Lenten season can be the most freeing, cleaning-up-and-out all those dark places in our hearts. Lord, bring in your cleaning crew with their spotlights and clean out all the crevices, corners and hiding places and make my life fresh and new so I will be more like you!

"Change my heart oh God. Make it ever true. Change my heart oh God. May I be like You."

Who Said I'm Not a Dog Lover?

Five years ago, Payton, my then 13-year-old grandson, was quite the entrepreneur repairing and selling cell phones. He earned enough money to purchase his Australian Shepherd pedigreed puppy that came with a pretty hefty price tag! They lived in the Seattle area and had to drive a couple of hours north to see and purchase him, but left him until he was old enough to be weaned from his mama. What a twosome they were!

I was a dog-liker, not a dog-lover. I lived in Tulsa and was visiting them. When I saw "Buddy" for the first time, Payton had sprayed his Papa’s (my husband’s) favorite cologne on him to be sure I was attracted to the little guy. I was. It probably didn’t take the cologne, but it sure made me want to cuddle him even more.

Fast forward five years this month, and these two “buddies” have grown up! And, so have I. Now, my visits to the Wallace’s include Buddy meeting me at the door with tail wagging and running to the back door – his indicator for me to pitch the tennis ball to him. He loves it. And, I love him! Did you catch that? I became a dog lover! What’s that about?

We are creatures of habits when we say “I’ll never have a dog or cat or we’ll remark “I’ll never eat that food or go to that place, or sit through that concert, etc., but then the habits get tossed out the window when a “shift” takes place in our thinking. Suddenly new likes and habits are acquired. Maybe you can think of something that you’d never do and you’re smiling as you read this post, because you did it and love it. The fact is life is about CHANGE.

Thank God. He never changes. He is the one constant we can assure ourselves of daily. "I am the Lord, and I do not change.” Malachi 3:6. “He’s the same yesterday, today and forever.” Hebrews 13: 8.

I love hearing stories of people who said, “I’ll never be able to give up smoking” and with grit and determination, today, they are literally “smoke-free”! And stories of an abused woman who thought she would never have a new life, and through Christ’s mercy and her tenacity, is now an overcomer.

We may waiver in our “I will never……” but God won’t. Maybe today’s a good day to say “I’ll never say never and I’ll be open to any change that makes me love greater and open up myself to whatever possibilities that God has in store for me." May we awaken to the assurance that He KNOWS ALL and if we’ll adapt to His ways, we’ll come to appreciate what we didn’t like before and even fall in love with them. Maybe part of our future includes changes that will cause us to enjoy the ride a little more! I’m throwing in the towel and opening up my mind to possibilities! How about you?

God Help Me! My Routine Went AWOL!

Routine: sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program, practice, pattern, regimen, plan, habits, schedule

My routine, first thing each morning, is to send a text message to my children, and my sister-in-law. Just a few love words to let them know that I was thinking about them and praying for them. My next morning routine is to go to my office and tap the SEND icon on my Facebook post and PUBLISH on my blog post. Then I quickly scan some of my friends’ activity on FB. Yesterday, I was shocked to see that my wonderful Tulsa dentist, Dr. Mark Tiernan, had passed away. Dr. Mark was a dear friend, amazing and fearless man of integrity and honor, missionary to nations to give his love away while providing his dental skills to those in need and precious man of God. Heaven just got sweeter.

My next routine is to make my way to the fitness center. I sat down at the stationary bike, inserted my ear plugs and turned on the TV. I should have avoided the news, the bickering and the sensational soundbites. I saw Mark Zuckerburg (Facebook’s creator) giving testimony to Congress about the data breaches that have made global headlines in recent weeks. I hope Congress and Mark can figure it all out and get their ROUTINES fixed, because whatever was wrong, FB is my mission field.

It doesn’t take long to deal with my own emotions, hear personal news from family and friends, along with the daily news, that the weight of the world invades my mind. I returned home from my work out and I was bombarded with those weights – not from the gym, but the world. I began to do the ugly cry – for my friends, my family, my world AND ME! I was having one of THOSE mornings. My upbeat, joy-filled, press-on, unwavering, tenacious attitude AND ROUTINE was interrupted with a wave of doubt, unbelief and concern. I was drenched in a puddle of self-pity.

I rushed to my journal, another routine, and I began to write: “My feelings hurt! I’m too sensitive. I’m too fleshly. I'm weary. I feel so weak. Restore my soul, oh Lord. Renew a right spirit within me. Lord, PLEASE HELP ME!” I quickly went to another of my morning routines, my Bible and my devotional booklet. Up popped these scriptures from Psalm 34, and, soon, all was well.
~ “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall ever be in my mouth.”
~ "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”
~ “Look to Him that you may be radiant with joy and your faces may not blush with shame."
~ “Taste and see how good the Lord is; blessed the man who takes refuge in Him."

Thanks be to God. I could breathe again. I’m so thankful that the Bible goes to great lengths to show us that all the people on its pages were ordinary and average, doing one little thing after another, rooted in trust, grounded in good news, and drenched in fear or hopelessness. Even people like Moses, Noah, Abraham and Sarah had their weaknesses and made their missteps. The only one who rose above it all was Jesus. As for the rest of the people in all the stories of the Bible, God filled them up with His Holy Spirit and breathed life into their ROUTINES, their dreams and their plans, and God, through ordinary people who did ordinary things, made miracles happen that changed the world for good.

Maybe today, your ROUTINE is out of whack. You also long for the “all is well” state of being. Take heart, my friends. All IS well. We just need to keep breathing….deeply. We do our part. We fight the good fight. We keep looking up. We can count on God's ROUTINE...He is ALWAYS faithful.

Good Habits are as Addictive as Bad Habits

Habit: an acquired behavior pattern, regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary!

What habits do you have that might affect how others see you? Biting your fingernails (Oh, how well I remember that awful one when I was a kid)? Cursing? Running your fingers through your hair? Interrupting conversations so you can speak? Being a constant complainer? Saying “Like” all the time – “I was like so happy; I like ran to the store”. Talking with your mouth filled with food? Nervously tapping your fingers?

HABITS are almost like being on "Auto Pilot". Once we hit "auto pilot" -- we just move through life without really considering how our HABITS might affect our lives and how others see us. Those are our involuntary habits.

There are so many “good to great” HABITS that were formed in our lives that consistently, and repetitiously, make us BETTER people. For example, remember teaching your children to "Watch both ways before you cross the street"? Think about how WE were taught to look both ways before crossing the street. It served us well to this day. And it will for our children, forever, too! Encouraging them to say "Thank you!" and "Yes, Ma'am or Yes, Sir". Those are involuntary habits – that we’ve “habitually” driven home to them for so long and now, we are so proud of our apprentices. They have good manners. They are kind to others. They are generous and they express gratitude consistently.

And, there are so many positive habits we have that bring about the best in ourselves and others. Speaking "I love you!" "I appreciate you!" “Way to go!” “You are amazing!” And, those of us who are radical believers in the favors and special blessings that come directly from God......we just naturally and habitually say, "Praise the Lord." "Thanks be to God." “God is so good!”

For those of us who are in the middle of some “life” storms and are facing major challenges and circumstances that seem out of control -- we just naturally and habitually say, "Praise the Lord -- He's working all this out for my good. This is no surprise to Him. I thank you, God, IN all these things!" Great, involuntary HABITS that serve us well in good times.....and tough times.

It's true: Good HABITS are as addictive as bad HABITS -- but, oh, so much more rewarding.

Proverbs 4:20-27 "My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you."

The "You Are Special" Plate of Building Love and Confidence

It's "Special Plate" day for my special son, Ryan! It's his birthday! Everyone gets to tell him how special he is to them! I love what he shares here about their family tradition of "The Special Plate"! Maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too! It is sure a confidence builder to those we love!

"People often ask me “How do you do it?” How do I spend so much focused time with my family, at work, training for marathons and with philanthropic causes and still manage to make the time high value and high quality? As I’ve talked about in a previous blog, it is all about living with purpose.

We tend to live in a microwave and fast-food society where we want everything immediately and as cheap as possible. But throughout my life I’ve found that enduring results and reward actually come through consistently doing the right thing with consistency over a long period of time. A good family friend, Tommy Thompson, said to me when our eldest son, Braden, was just 6 years old, “You can never really have quality time with your children unless you have quantity time with them, because you never know when the quality moments will sneak up on you.” There is nothing fast or microwaveable about that.

Early on in our sons’ lives, I decided as a father it was going to be important to establish traditions that could be carried through each of our children’s lives and then be passed down through generations. These traditions would build character, intelligence, values and a heritage. The traditions would also foster a high degree of self-worth and create precious moments with our children.

This is the first of a series of blogs that talks about these different traditions my wife, Shawntel, and I have developed and why I believe they have had a positive impact on our children’s lives and our own as parents.

We have a special red plate that says, “You are special today.” It has become a great symbol in our household. This red plate is placed where our sons sit at the table on days we feel are special or significant for them – it can be a birthday, a graduation, special sporting event or accomplishment, or it could even be the day of a doctor’s appointment. When one of our boys is going to be celebrated, he comes to the table and see the plate in his spot. Immediately, a smile brightens his face because he knows that this morning is his morning. He will get his favorite breakfast and everyone in the family will take a turn telling him why he is special to them. Watching our youngest son wait in anticipation as his older brothers talk about how he is important, valued and unique, creates a sense of happiness, confidence and great worth in him. These moments cannot be replaced or overvalued. Even my wife, Shawntel, and I have come to be excited when we see the red plate at our spot on the table. There is rarely a red plate day without tears of joy.

As a parent, it is vitally important to develop habits that will keep you on purpose with your children. The red plate is an easy way for us to focus on the accomplishments and joys of each of our uniquely special children. Over the years, I passed this tradition on to many of my friends and family. They now use it as their own and it has been so rewarding to hear their positive stories that accompany this new tradition that has been established in their family. This tradition has created such incredible reward for both our children and for us as parents throughout the years.