The Blessing of My First-Born

On the road again! Yesterday the boys and I traveled back from Frisco to Austin to be here today for the traditional birthday breakfast where we celebrate another birthday of one we love. It’s the dad’s (my first-born’s) birthday this time. We’ll enjoy the usual: biscuits (plus cream & chocolate gravies), eggs, bacon and fruit. His will be served in the “You are Special” plate and we’ll each go around and tell him why he is so special to us.

This #1 child (in order of birth debuts) – my first-born -- and his birthday, makes me even more nostalgic than I already am daily. That's what happens as the years go by. Our love for them and all the memories, indelibly imprinted on our mind, continue to give us such pride and joy. And, all you mamas and papas out there, you might as well realize you'll never get over the awe of the accomplishments and abilities of your kids, and most of all, that you were in partnership with God in bringing these amazing human beings into this world.

Our Ryan Keith, our first-born was the “test-case” for two inept amateurs. No prep-training classes in those days. All we had was a Dr. Spock book, “Baby and Child Care” to give us “baby” tips. I remember the hospital staff showing me how to nurse this little human being. It occurred to me: “This baby is dependent on ME!" Oh, the responsibility that hit two very novice kids. I remember being shown how to change his diapers, take care of his tummy button, how to bathe him and THAT WAS IT! We were on our own. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? No formal training in baby care? Fortunately, we had our two mothers that “knew the ropes” and they guided us in becoming experts.

The first-born shows us an unconditional love that is beyond explanation. This little first-born gave me the incredible gift of my cherished title – ‘mother’. My first-born and I were partners as we navigated all his first-born challenges like blow out diapers, sleepless nights and keeping him alive when he was so sick. We are still partnering as we navigate MY life. It’s definitely a role reversal. I’m so thankful for my partnership with my first-born. He was the first time I did all of the “mom stuff” and I certainly made a lot of mistakes along the way, and I (and his dad) have been his first time in his opportunity for “son stuff”. He reminds me each Valentine’s Day that I was his first love. His dad, me and God created his first heartbeat and my heartbeat was the first one he heard.

He was my first time I wore maternity clothes, the first time I watched my body change and grow to accommodate a person, the first time I threw up for mornings for three long months and experienced the crazy ride of pregnancy highs and lows. The first time I nursed, the first time I planned a first birthday party. The first-born teaches us so much. My boy gave me the confidence to be a mother. It didn’t happen right away. But over time, through mothering him, I found out who I was and am in this role. My strengths and my weaknesses. My highs and my lows. He even gave us the courage to do this thing again. And, we had his little sister two and a half years later.

Yes, I’m nostalgic, but mostly I’m so grateful God blessed us with a remarkable, talented, compassionate, giving, tender-hearted and loving first-born. Not only am I having memories on this day, but I'm counting my blessings that continue to bring my life so much joy and pleasure. My greatest blessings call me Mom and Nana -- and on this day, I'm especially thankful for that little man that kick-started us into parenthood and continues to make me so grateful when God was handing out “Motherhood” – He picked me to be this man’s mother. He survived our youth and inexperience and he rocked our world and I think to myself.... what a wonderful world it is!

Happy Birthday, my first-born, Ryan Wuerch! What a difference you’ve made in my life!

The Last Word: “And Many More.....”

Are you one of those who has to have the last word? If so, then at the conclusion of singing "Happy Birthday" to someone, you probably added the big finish: “and mannny more!!" I always sing “and many more” under my breath in hopes that my quiet wish might help to safeguard the birthday boy or girl’s longevity. I know it’s not a sure-fire-guarantee because life has taught me we can never be sure of “many more”. So, each and every birthday we have with our loved ones is a gift. I realized this when my sweetheart received the diagnosis that changed his “many mores” to only “one more.”

“No more” is a sad thought, and I suspect if you’re reading this, you understand what I mean. Even though their passing means our loved ones never grow a year older, to those of us who are still here on this side of heaven, their birthday continues, for us, year after year. Though they’re gone, their birthday still belongs to them. And, to us, there’s no such thing as “no more”. We’re still here on this earth to REMEMBER there will be “many mores”. I’m here to tell you – significant days like birthdays, anniversaries and other special celebrations mean we still love our loved ones despite their absence. That’s one of the things I love about FB and seeing posts about loved ones, years past their “going home” date. We are fondly remembering.

All of that explanation is to give justification for celebrating my one man: the one love of my life once again on this, his birthday. Our family celebrates each other’s birthdays by pulling out the “Special Plate” and telling the honoree what they mean to us. I have it out this morning with biscuits, chocolate gravy, bacon, and eggs made for the boys and I. We'll be celebrating Papa and sharing what he meant to us. We're keeping his memory alive. As for me, I’m looking up to heaven and singing "Happy B/D and many more" to my Sweetheart! I'll let you listen in as I say to him:

“My Sweetheart, you are still so loved, honored, respected, and admired by me and all those who knew you. I’m celebrating you and the mark you made on so many lives, the least of whom is ME! I am more today than I could have ever dreamed possible because of you.....your relentless urging, pushing, prodding, and encouraging me to be all I could be. You always made me feel beautiful -- especially when I didn't feel it. When I didn't believe in myself, you believed in me! I am so thankful for the amazing husband, father, and grandfather that you were. You always gave yourself so freely to so many. I will never forget the precious, caring and giving way you treated others. You not only opened the door to them, but you fed them and clothed them and tolerated them and truly gave them the Father's love. You really were a "life enhancer" and a beautiful example, on earth, of Christ's love. There's not enough room here to tell you how much you meant to me, but one thing's for sure, you received your ultimate reward by getting to go on the fast track to heaven. My greatest determination is to be there with you someday and have the ultimate in birthday bashes with you there! And, to all my FB friends and family -- YOU ARE ALL INVITED!!!

By the way, maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too. It is sure a confidence builder to those we love! And, maybe it's time to get out the special plate for your loved ones in heaven and reminisce and celebrate how they made a difference in your life. It will keep their memory alive, and bring gratitude back to those who helped make you who you are today!

The Statue of Liberty: Welcome Home, You Tired and Weary

My youngest 11-year-old grandson, Bryson, was fit to be tied. He wanted to give his birthday present to me before anyone could give theirs. He was so excited as I opened the special box, padded so nicely with the treasure inside. It was this beautiful Statue of Liberty that he just had to have an engraved plaque added to it. Bryson and his dad went to see Lady Liberty a couple of weeks ago on their annual Dad/Son trip. It really is a precious treasure, now prominent on my fireplace mantle.

It brought back sweet memories of his Papa and me riding the ferry to Ellis Island to see her majesty in breathtaking reality -- she who offered freedom, hope and a new beginning to so many weary travelers from foreign lands years ago. Ellis Island is where the vast majority of immigrants stopped before being allowed into the U.S. I am reminded of Emma Lazarus' quote that is on the statue: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

This post isn’t for debating the issue about the illegal immigrants' issue, but to share my own immigration story. In 1986, our family desired to move to Canada. My husband was a natural born Canadian citizen and a legal immigrant to the U.S. For us to move there, it meant that our children and I had to go through a rigorous "legal" process to obtain residency there. We had to complete stacks of documentation, have medical exams, attend interviews and go through a lengthy waiting period before getting to accompany my husband to his "home and native land".

Eventually, we were approved, and so was my mother who moved there with us. She received a Canadian pension as well as her U.S. social security and was blessed with no-cost medical treatments. I was blessed to be employed by the University of Manitoba and to this day, I still receive my Canadian pension. Our children became viable working people there. Our son, Ryan Wuerch became a top-selling realtor at the age of 19. Our daughter, Staci Wallace was Miss Manitoba, competed in the Miss Canada pageant and won the talent portion. She ran a modeling agency for malls and she represented Canada as a soloist in the 1986 Winter Olympics. We were so blessed.

Canada opened its doors to our children and me. We were aliens in a foreign land but were respected and given the rights of other Canadians, as we proved our value in the opportunities that Canada provided to us.

A couple of years ago, I attended a Tulsa Prayer Service for immigrants. Over 500 Latinos were being encouraged in their desires for immigration to the U.S. A grateful Spanish Pastor give his own story as a landed immigrant to the U.S. My heart was touched to see a room filled with people who sincerely desired the freedoms and the opportunities to live here. This pastor said “I know that many of you in this room are waiting for your permit. I know that you are here to work and not here for welfare or a hand-out. Most of you have valuable skills that can benefit this country. You are paying taxes every time you buy a hamburger and a pair of socks here. He urged them to pray for God's help, to save money, educate and prepare themselves for acceptance.

May God bless and answer the prayers of honest people who sincerely desire a safe place to raise their families, where they can do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay and a country that welcomes them as viable, contributing citizens.

And God bless all of us who realize that this world is not our final home. We are temporarily here on this earth as strangers and aliens in a foreign land. But, one day, we'll join together and in thunderous applause and cheers of joy and celebration, we'll see the banners and hear those beautiful words “Welcome Home!”

Birthdays Really Matter

I’m heading back home today after several days of celebrating my son’s birthday with his entire family. How precious for me to be able to be there for all the festivities and moments of sheer awesomeness. And, what a joy for me to be able to hang with the older kids because our sleeping arrangements were in a beautiful 2-bedroom suite overlooking this incredible heaven-on-earth place. I like to think that God gave my kids a heart for including this mama and it sure brings me so much joy.

Our family is BIG on birthdays, and while it may sound child-like to make such a big deal about birthdays, it really shouldn’t, because birthdays mean we made it through another year, and we're still here for a reason. That should be a BIG DEAL to us!

I heard someone say “I’m not having any more birthdays. In fact, I don’t even know how old I am anymore.” And I quickly replied, “Goodness gracious, I'm thrilled to celebrate my birthday. It means I made it through another year." I heard Christine Caine's remarks about birthdays. She said, "The older we get, we downplay having another birthday. We don't want any 'big deals' or ANY attention given to us having another birthday. How silly it is to throw a gigantic, blow-out of a birthday for a one-year old. What has a one year old done to deserve that birthday? Those who have been here for half a century and more are the ones to be celebrated. For goodness sakes, every year that we're still here, we deserve fireworks, celebrations, recognition and tributes..... because we EARNED this birthday and every other birthday! We made it another year."

I remember anticipating my birthdays as a child. As children, we counted down, waited and planned for our birthdays. We wanted special themes: Princess, Super Heroes, Fishing & Hunting, Football, Basketball, etc. We treasured the people who made our birthdays special, the grandmother (me) who created a treasure hunt trail of rhyming notes that led to the grand finale – supremo birthday gift. We were stoked that our friends came bearing gifts and shared our yummy cake, and we loved making a wish and blowing out the candles with just one huge breath.

Let’s be clear – it’s not as much about the presents, as it is of the PRESENCE of those who love us and make us feel…..”I am special”. Here’s the real crux of the matter: No matter who you are or whether or not you had an ideal family life, you always were and always will be a treasure, and on your birthday, you get to rock that truth.

Birthdays say, “You’re special!” That’s what we do with the red “special plate” for the birthday guy or girl and we take turning sharing why they are special to us. Birthdays say, “Hey, you, you’re great! I’m so glad you’re in my life.” And that’s why birthdays are a big deal – because birthdays represent our God-given mission and destiny and every year that we’re here, we get to celebrate our journey.

And with each year.....we have the opportunity to celebrate -- not for just THE day, but EACH day that God gives us. Celebrating it with a merry heart, a glad heart, a thankful heart, a forgiving heart, a heart open to the abundance of God's love and bringing forth fruit, being vigorous and flourishing.

I have a dear friend who doesn't wait for someone to throw her a party. She throws a birthday bash for herself, and she invites us all to join her for her BIG DAY. I love that. She knows she is special to us, so, of course, we celebrate her.

So, today, whether you or 15, 50 or 95.....you are to be celebrated. You're still bearing fruit. You're still here....you're not done!

Birthdays Really Matter

I’m heading back home today after several days of celebrating my son’s birthday. I brought Payton and Alexia (my daughter’s two) with me to Austin and yesterday Larry and Staci drove down after having just returned from a missions trip to Mexico the night before. Our family is BIG on birthdays, and while it may sound child-like to make such a big deal about birthdays, it really shouldn’t, because birthdays mean we made it through another year, and we're still here for a reason. That should be a BIG DEAL to us!

Yesterday I heard a lady say “I’m not having any more birthdays. In fact, I don’t even know how old I am anymore.” And I quickly replied, “Goodness gracious, I'm thrilled to celebrate my birthday. It means I made it through another year." I heard Christine Caine's remarks about birthdays. She said, "The older we get, we downplay having another birthday. We don't want any 'big deals' or ANY attention given to us having another birthday. How silly it is to throw a gigantic, blow-out of a birthday for a one-year old. What has a one year old done to deserve that birthday? Those who have been here for half a century and more are the ones to be celebrated. For goodness sakes, every year that we're still here, we deserve fireworks, celebrations, recognition and tributes..... because we EARNED this birthday and every other birthday! We made it another year."

Let’s be clear – it’s not as much about the presents, as it is of the PRESENCE of those who love us and make us feel…..”I am special”.
Here’s the real crux of the matter: You may not have had the ideal family life or have the perfect body OR be the “sharpest tool in the shed”, but you always were and always will be a treasure, and on your birthday, you get to rock that truth.

Birthdays say, “You’re special!” That’s what we do with the red “special plate” where we go around and share why “the birthday boy or girl or man or woman” is special to us. Birthdays say, “Hey, you, you’re great! I’m so glad you’re in my life.” And that’s why birthdays are a big deal – because birthdays represent our God-given mission and destiny and every year that we’re here, we get to celebrate our journey.

And with each year.....we have the opportunity to celebrate -- not for just THE day, but EACH day that God gives us. Celebrating it with a merry heart, a glad heart, a thankful heart, a forgiving heart, a heart open to the abundance of God's love and bringing forth fruit, being vigorous and flourishing.

I have a dear friend who doesn't wait for someone to throw her a party. She throws a birthday bash for herself, and she invites us all to join her for her BIG DAY. I love that. She knows she is special to us AND God, so, of course, we celebrate her.

So, today, whether you or 6 or 60 or 96.....you are to be celebrated. You're still bearing fruit. You're still here....you're not done!

It's Special Plate Day For My Sweetheart

Day 251 of Photo Inspirations -- It's Special Plate Day for My Sweetheart!

Our family has always made big deals of birthdays.  After all, it's the day we made our debut on this earth -- straight from heaven's portals.   So, of course, it's a celebration day.  The day always starts with the birthday decorations and birthday breakfast with the "You Are Special" Birthday Plate.  This is the birthday honoree's SPECIAL DAY, and we each tell them how special they are to us.   Each one conveys tender and heartfelt words of love and appreciation.

I've got the "Special Plate" out today because today's birthday honoree is my Sweetheart, and I ask my friends and family to indulge me once again as I reminisce about the life of this precious man and how special he will always be to me.  

"On this day of celebration, I hope you know how much you are loved, honored, respected, and admired by me and all those who know you.  This is indeed a time of celebrating a man that made his mark on so many lives, the least of whom is ME!    I am more today than I could have ever dreamed possible because of you.....your relentless urging, pushing, prodding, and encouraging me to be all I could be.    You have always made me feel beautiful.  When I didn't believe in myself.....you believed in me!  

I am so thankful for the amazing husband, father, and grandfather that you always were.  You always gave yourself so freely to so many.   I will never forget the precious, caring and giving way you treated my mom.  You always made her feel like a queen.   You were so much more than a son-in-law.    And when I wanted to shut the door so many times to some of the dysfunctional, yet needy members of my family.....you not only opened the door to them, but you fed them and clothed them and tolerated them and gave them truly the Father's love.  You really were a "life enhancer" and a replica of Christ's love.    There are so many adjectives for this man named "Ronald Wuerch" and so many reasons why I celebrate your life and the impact you had on so many.   And I'll try here to name just a few.  I love Ronald because.....

• You could play the piano and sing.....like a virtuoso
• You were an amazing carpenter -- building houses and so much more
• You were an awesome pilot
• You could fix anything -- around the house and in people's lives
• You had so much wisdom and creativity
• You were a great fisherman....of fish....and of people -- leading them to Christ
• You were so giving to those in need

• You were my greatest cheerleader
• You saw the good in everyone and you taught our family the key to our greatest joy and happiness was found in God's Word.
• You led our family in the optimistic, positive faith message that caused ultimate success in each of our lives.
• You were my best friend, lover, confidante, and my hero
• And there's not enough room here to continue with all that you were to me......but one thing's for sure.......you received your ultimate reward by getting to go on the fast track to heaven.  My greatest determination is to be there with you someday and to get to have the ultimate in birthday bashes there!  And, to all my FB friends and family -- YOU ARE ALL INVITED!!!

Oh, and by the way, maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too! It is sure a confidence builder to those we love!

Happy Birthday, my Sweetheart! 

The "You Are Special" Plate of Building Love and Confidence

It's "Special Plate" day for my special son, Ryan! It's his birthday! Everyone gets to tell him how special he is to them! I love what he shares here about their family tradition of "The Special Plate"! Maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too! It is sure a confidence builder to those we love!

"People often ask me “How do you do it?” How do I spend so much focused time with my family, at work, training for marathons and with philanthropic causes and still manage to make the time high value and high quality? As I’ve talked about in a previous blog, it is all about living with purpose.

We tend to live in a microwave and fast-food society where we want everything immediately and as cheap as possible. But throughout my life I’ve found that enduring results and reward actually come through consistently doing the right thing with consistency over a long period of time. A good family friend, Tommy Thompson, said to me when our eldest son, Braden, was just 6 years old, “You can never really have quality time with your children unless you have quantity time with them, because you never know when the quality moments will sneak up on you.” There is nothing fast or microwaveable about that.

Early on in our sons’ lives, I decided as a father it was going to be important to establish traditions that could be carried through each of our children’s lives and then be passed down through generations. These traditions would build character, intelligence, values and a heritage. The traditions would also foster a high degree of self-worth and create precious moments with our children.

This is the first of a series of blogs that talks about these different traditions my wife, Shawntel, and I have developed and why I believe they have had a positive impact on our children’s lives and our own as parents.

We have a special red plate that says, “You are special today.” It has become a great symbol in our household. This red plate is placed where our sons sit at the table on days we feel are special or significant for them – it can be a birthday, a graduation, special sporting event or accomplishment, or it could even be the day of a doctor’s appointment. When one of our boys is going to be celebrated, he comes to the table and see the plate in his spot. Immediately, a smile brightens his face because he knows that this morning is his morning. He will get his favorite breakfast and everyone in the family will take a turn telling him why he is special to them. Watching our youngest son wait in anticipation as his older brothers talk about how he is important, valued and unique, creates a sense of happiness, confidence and great worth in him. These moments cannot be replaced or overvalued. Even my wife, Shawntel, and I have come to be excited when we see the red plate at our spot on the table. There is rarely a red plate day without tears of joy.

As a parent, it is vitally important to develop habits that will keep you on purpose with your children. The red plate is an easy way for us to focus on the accomplishments and joys of each of our uniquely special children. Over the years, I passed this tradition on to many of my friends and family. They now use it as their own and it has been so rewarding to hear their positive stories that accompany this new tradition that has been established in their family. This tradition has created such incredible reward for both our children and for us as parents throughout the years.