Happy Father's Day! Fathers and Fatherless

My blog today is dedicated to all the wonderful fathers, father figures, and male mentors who have touched the lives of your own kids and others you’ve mentored and coached. We appreciate you! And, for the rest of us, let's be sure to celebrate our fathers in words and actions. So, I’m taking my own advice and celebrating all the fathers today!

Father’s Day brings precious memories and so much gratitude -- for my own sweet daddy, my dear father-in-law, and my precious husband who are celebrating this Father’s Day with “Our Father Who Art in Heaven”! Okay – they've certainly one-upped us on a grand celebration with the second-to-none Father. And Happy Father’s Day to my two incredible sons: Ryan Wuerch & Larry Wallace, amazing, devoted fathers who lead their families by God’s example to them. Thanks, and well-done, guys, for blessing me with my seven beautiful grandchildren and thank you for all the men and boys you coach and mentor!

And, as celebratory this day is for those amazing fathers who love and adore their families and model what a good father is, my heart goes out to the fatherless today. Over the last several weeks, I’ve heard, repeatedly, that this is a “fatherless” generation which lies at the root of the problems in our society. It is a story of shame, loneliness and rejection. A story that desperately needs to be heard. Fatherlessness is both a personal tragedy and a growing epidemic, and is the engine driving gangs, riots, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse and suicide. But, there is a solution if only those of us in faith communities would rewrite this tragic story.

The “He's a Good, Good Father” song provides answers that only a good Father can provide. When my daddy became so ill when I was eight years old until he passed on when I was fifteen, it was my good, good Heavenly Father who sustained me. When my precious husband passed on, it was the love of my Heavenly Father where I found solace, comfort and peace. Oh, that this fatherless generation could find their true identity in the love of our Heavenly Father. We’re finding out that He's loving and caring and so close that we can be embraced by Him -- any time, anywhere.

As the song goes, we’re finding out He’s perfect in all of His ways…to us. He loved us before we loved Him. He has always been this way. This Father sent Jesus because He wants all of us to know that He loves us all exactly like He loves His Son. Jesus’ desire was that every person knows love by the love He shared among His followers. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” (John 13:35). We are wising up to those “Love one another” words.

Maybe today, you don’t even know your earthly father, or if you do, he may not have been very present in your life. Maybe, like me, your dad was with you for just a short period of time. Like mine, your dad wasn’t there to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. Maybe your dad is still here and your relationship is and always has been strained.

Dads, in my opinion, you are the most powerful force in the lives of your children. Thank you for not being passive. Thank you for understanding and taking responsibility for your power. Thank you for being living examples of our Heavenly Father's love. Thank you for having real-life conversations with your boys and having date nights with your girls. Thank you for showing them and the fatherless children what respect, honor, and integrity look like. I pray God leads our strong, loving and caring men to reach out in love to those who need to see Father God in the flesh and come to know the love of their good, good Father.
“He is a father to the fatherless." Psalm 68:5

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.” ― Lydia Maria Child

Keep On Keeping On

Of course this precious man's photo is my inspiration for today. Heaven is a wonderful place and every time I hear about someone's loved one getting to go there, it seems to get sweeter and sweeter. At least it sure does for me.

I am a team member on a Faith & Grief support group that helps those who have suffered a loss of a loved one and are struggling to move on. In fact we don’t say “move on” because moving on denotes “forgetting the past and getting over the loss”. Better stated is “keep on, keeping on.” I embrace those words because I was given an assignment by God at my birth, and it’s MY assignment until I get to “go home” to heaven.

My best friend, my husband, lover, sweetheart, and my kids' beloved father and papa went to his home in heaven this day nine years ago. I don't take his death anniversary as an opportunity to cry over that moment of departure. Instead, I celebrate his life by living mine. I live his list, my list and everything in between. I've spent the last nine years of my life, evolving and growing. It's my legacy to a man who loved and lived life in his God-given purpose on purpose. He was always KEEPING ON. Most importantly at 9 years post his graduation, I know I'm carrying on his and my legacy. If one person makes a decision to live a beautiful life because I share my journey, then my Ron lives on. That's our collective gift to this world.

I tell you to KEEP ON keeping on living with audacious and relentless faith because Ron would tell you to live like there is no tomorrow. I invite you to live because I know firsthand it's the best choice for anyone who grieves and can’t seem to keep on going. We can't bring them back, but we can honor all they were by being and doing all we can. Go live. You are still here for a reason. Take in the view. Live for others and bring them along with you to heaven. I tell you this because Ron taught me one valuable lesson throughout our forty-nine years together. He taught me to keep on keeping on – no matter the storms or circumstances, no matter the bumps or bruises -- all because of the cross of Jesus that we can keep on, keeping on.

On this day, I ponder: It’s been 9 years since I laid next to him. It’s been 9 years since I kissed him. It’s been 9 years since I've seen him hug our children and grandchildren. It’s been 9 years since I've heard him say, "I love you." Oh, but, because I keep on, keeping on, look what 9 years has done for me: It’s been 9 years of personal growth and living daily with determination and purpose. It’s been 9 years of new adventures – new places I never saw, new people I’ve come to love, and a new mission. It’s been 9 years of rediscovery of learning to love myself alone. I am enough because God is enough.

I've moved forward boldly while honoring my past. I still miss that man as much as I ever have, but that “missing” has changed and evolved as I have. He will forever have a special place in my heart and the hearts of my children and grandchildren. What I can tell you today is that nine years ago I didn’t know what my future would look like without this larger-than-life man in my life. What I didn't know is that my life didn't end. It had just begun.

Everything I am. Everything I've learned. Every part of my heart and soul is better today than it was nine years ago. His leaving was my opportunity to make ME so much better. I didn't die on November 16th, 2010, and I'm thankful that I realized I am still here for a reason. Regardless of what you are going through today, you have a purpose, and you can survive it. Take small daily baby steps, listen to your heart and remember to live. I can’t promise that the pain will ever go away, but I will promise that you are strong, brave and capable of anything. How do I know that? Because you have made it this far. The sun came up on this day so we can face this day with the goal of living and loving this life with all that is in us. Let’s face this day and keep on keeping on for everyone who no longer can.

Fast Forward -- It's "R" Rated

I’m in "search and let-it-go" mode. My community is having its bi-annual garage sale this weekend. It’s a great way to purge and get rid of junk which may very well be someone else’s treasure. I always loved going to garage and estate sales. I think that’s what led my sis-in-law and I to start the estate sale business years ago. It’s a lot of work – but oh the fun we had with our niche -- we marketed the home and its contents. That’s all behind me, but I’ve had lots of sweet memories hit me as I went through closets, cabinets, drawers and an attic of “stuff” that needed to be purged.

My best find was my old VCR. I thought I had discarded it long ago. I have many VHS tapes that hold fond memories on them and couldn't watch them. But when this search and rescue began, who knew I'd run into it? Since Payton, my grandson, was over helping me get down some items from my attic, I asked him to set up the VCR for me. A couple of connections and whoa-la -- I had a working VCR. The VHS tape I most wanted to see was the video of my husband and I resaying our wedding vows on our 35th anniversary. Payton put in the tape and it started playing at the end when Bishop Jacob said "Now, you may kiss your bride!" And if that wasn't enough, he continued, "You can do better than that. You've had plenty of practice by now!" And, my husband went in for the full-in lock and load! My grandson said, "Nana, this should be R-Rated!" I'm still smiling!

I love Payton's love for his Papa and this VHS tape showed him alive and well again. I don’t push memories or thoughts of my husband to the side because the best of him is in me, my children and my grandchildren. Often, we’ll talk about him and remember one of his stories or jokes or funny ways of doing things. He was a perfectionist who insisted: "Do it right or don't do it at all!"

Here’s the really good news. It’s okay to miss Papa (my Sweetheart) and still fully live the life God has created for me. The missing reminds me this world is not my home and that life is precious and short. Whether I live thirty more days or thirty more years, this life will be over sooner than I think. Knowing this reminds me to slow down, to live generously, to forgive often, and to love deeply – to cuddle with those who lean into me and want to talk and share about the best of times.

I am grateful for knowing that Papa really does have an afterlife. It’s the real life he was destined for – where there is freedom from pain and sorrow and there's eternal praises and joys forevermore. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9) And, Papa loved Him so much. I can only imagine the afterlife he is getting to live!

So for now, I will embrace the memories, the sweet kisses from heaven and those on the VHS tape that remind me he is probably leaning over heaven’s balconies cheering us on -- like he did on this earth when he tried to "sell" us on something: "Ya’ gotta’ see this. Ya’ gotta’ be here. Ya' gotta' do this! It is worth the journey…..it is worth it all."

The Month of Love Can Be “Bah Humbug”.....if we let it!

Everywhere I look there are reminders: "This is Love Month!". Since my sweetheart is long gone from this side of heaven, I could shut my eyes, allow myself to be pitiful and think "Please March, get here quickly!" But you’ll notice I refuse to go there, so much so that I intentionally post about love this month.

You see, February 14th has been a precious day for me since I was 12 years old. Well, maybe even before that when we decorated shoe boxes for receiving Valentine cards from our schoolmates. Up till February 14th, 1961, the cards I received from boys were slim-pickens. But from 1961 until 2010, Valentine's meant the world to me. My Sweetheart and I had our first "date" on Valentine's (ages 12 & 13) and every year since then, we made it "our" special day. I fully understand, however, why many wish there wasn't so much emphasis on love and lovers -- especially if they don't have a significant other.

But, every year, I purposely decide to defeat those thoughts as soon as February rolls around. Rather than being wimpy, I purpose to be energized, strong and determined. I embrace this whole month and call it a Month of Love -- focusing on giving out love daily, expressing my appreciation for friends, family and ESPECIALLY, my Father God -- the greatest LOVER of all.

I'm sharing my thoughts with you about "Valentine's NOT being Bah Humbug". I checked my heart on it before this month rolled around. And look at how God intercepted my thoughts. These photos are of a Valentine's "Love" brunch given by some precious women from Dwell Church. The homeowner emulates the beauty of being a Martha who serves with excellence and a Mary who worships at the feet of Jesus. I was so grateful to be included in this special celebration that she went way out of her way to show her love to us. Everything was done meticulously with excellence from the "love" signs that greeted us to the handsome servers from the church who welcomed us with a lovely punch, a ticket, and a sweet "love" magnet.

Their living area furniture was moved to their bedroom. Can. You. Speak? Reminders of love were everywhere and the brunch was par excellence. Check out that chocolate fountain bar. How blessed I felt when she gave a gorgeous orchid plant to me and another widow. I sensed my sweetheart looking down from heaven and applauding. To top it off, the tickets were for the gorgeous centerpieces filled with candy hearts and roses, and my number was drawn. I tried to give it away for someone else, but they insisted I keep it. Truly I sensed God's favor. He keeps on pouring it on!

I like to think that this sweet day was a gift for turning up the love burner in my month. It was a “give and it shall be given” gift to me. So, I will continue to NOT fall for the "IF ONLY" lie. You know, "IF ONLY my sweetheart was still here, IF ONLY I had a boyfriend, IF ONLY I had a romantic husband." "IF ONLY" can do quite a number on our hearts. That’s why I’m determined to replace my "If onlys" with "I ams". I AM loved by God. I AM so thankful for the beautiful people He has placed in my life. I AM rich in God’s mercy and grace. I AM so happy that I love this LOVE season because I am reminded to amp up my love for God and others. 1 John 4:19 explains it this way "We love because He first loved us."

The Last Word: “And Many More.....”

Are you one of those who has to have the last word? If so, then at the conclusion of singing "Happy Birthday" to someone, you probably added the big finish: “and mannny more!!" I always sing “and many more” under my breath in hopes that my quiet wish might help to safeguard the birthday boy or girl’s longevity. I know it’s not a sure-fire-guarantee because life has taught me we can never be sure of “many more”. So, each and every birthday we have with our loved ones is a gift. I realized this when my sweetheart received the diagnosis that changed his “many mores” to only “one more.”

“No more” is a sad thought, and I suspect if you’re reading this, you understand what I mean. Even though their passing means our loved ones never grow a year older, to those of us who are still here on this side of heaven, their birthday continues, for us, year after year. Though they’re gone, their birthday still belongs to them. And, to us, there’s no such thing as “no more”. We’re still here on this earth to REMEMBER there will be “many mores”. I’m here to tell you – significant days like birthdays, anniversaries and other special celebrations mean we still love our loved ones despite their absence. That’s one of the things I love about FB and seeing posts about loved ones, years past their “going home” date. We are fondly remembering.

All of that explanation is to give justification for celebrating my one man: the one love of my life once again on this, his birthday. Our family celebrates each other’s birthdays by pulling out the “Special Plate” and telling the honoree what they mean to us. I have it out this morning with biscuits, chocolate gravy, bacon, and eggs made for the boys and I. We'll be celebrating Papa and sharing what he meant to us. We're keeping his memory alive. As for me, I’m looking up to heaven and singing "Happy B/D and many more" to my Sweetheart! I'll let you listen in as I say to him:

“My Sweetheart, you are still so loved, honored, respected, and admired by me and all those who knew you. I’m celebrating you and the mark you made on so many lives, the least of whom is ME! I am more today than I could have ever dreamed possible because of you.....your relentless urging, pushing, prodding, and encouraging me to be all I could be. You always made me feel beautiful -- especially when I didn't feel it. When I didn't believe in myself, you believed in me! I am so thankful for the amazing husband, father, and grandfather that you were. You always gave yourself so freely to so many. I will never forget the precious, caring and giving way you treated others. You not only opened the door to them, but you fed them and clothed them and tolerated them and truly gave them the Father's love. You really were a "life enhancer" and a beautiful example, on earth, of Christ's love. There's not enough room here to tell you how much you meant to me, but one thing's for sure, you received your ultimate reward by getting to go on the fast track to heaven. My greatest determination is to be there with you someday and have the ultimate in birthday bashes with you there! And, to all my FB friends and family -- YOU ARE ALL INVITED!!!

By the way, maybe it's time you and your family have special plate days, too. It is sure a confidence builder to those we love! And, maybe it's time to get out the special plate for your loved ones in heaven and reminisce and celebrate how they made a difference in your life. It will keep their memory alive, and bring gratitude back to those who helped make you who you are today!

Happy Anniversary #51

A few days ago, I was with a group of ladies, and in casual conversation, I asked the gal beside me how long she’d been married. She said “44 long years – some days I think ‘That’s enough, already!’” Then she laughed and I knew she was just kidding, but that didn’t stop me from saying “Oh, my dear, I was married 44 years and that’s all I had with my sweetheart – it wasn’t enough!”

A dear Canadian friend of mine was celebrating her 51st anniversary with her husband and she was expressing the joys she had of being married to her wonderful husband. I commented on her post “This would've been our 51st anniversary on July 8th. Keep celebrating those as long as you can. Much love and blessings to you.”

And, to all you sweet married women today, I say “Cherish, embrace, celebrate, and romance the relationship you have with your husbands – and to the men, with your wives.” This life is so short and making every minute count with those we love on this side of heaven is so precious. And it will carry us through to eternity – on that side of heaven!

Of course I’m thinking those thoughts today because 51 years ago today, July 8, 1966 -- I married the love of my life, I was 17; he was 18 -- and that was after a LONG 5 years courtship -- since 12 & 13! And, if I had it to do over again, I’d do it ALL OVER AGAIN! Though many said “It will never last – you’re too young – don't get tied down yet -- you have so much life to live -- you’ll miss out on so much fun", I thought it then and I think it now – “You’re too late with your words of gloom and despair, because this ship has already left dock!” LOL! NEVER did I think "tied down" -- we lived life to its fullest, and had SO MUCH FUN! Yes, we WERE young and immature. We made a LOT of mistakes – but we did so much that was right!! We had a blast living life, and a blast "overcoming" life, and its many surprises and challenges.

When my sweetheart graduated to heaven in 2010 -- I realized how blessed I was to have had him in my life for so many years. This precious man was my cheerleader, coach, counselor, confidante, caring and compassionate friend, and romantic lover. Most importantly, he brought out the best in me – literally, as I was a shy introvert, with so many insecurities, lacking in confidence, yet he saw so much more in me. He urged, coerced, and pushed me to be the best I could be. Because of him, I became a Mom to two truly great children, grandmother to six grandchildren (plus one, my sweet Ruth, wife of Braden) and also, an accomplished organist & pianist, a pilot, a real estate and securities broker, a fisherman (woman), a slalom water skier, a snow skier, a businesswoman, an administrator, a public speaker and, lover of God's Word and fully desiring to serve Him all the days of my life.
I miss him today – more than ever, but because I love him so much, I am overwhelmed with joy that he could be in heaven ahead of me -- he's on his heavenly assignment -- he earned and deserves this. And, of all the beautiful things he gave me, and urged me to become, I absolutely know that the peace, joy and happiness I’m experiencing today, is because of the impact he had on my life – to always look for the good in every circumstance, to be grateful for everything, to be determined to finish this race strong. Happy Anniversary, my Sweetheart! I'm having a blast here.....and I guarantee I'll keep your legacy strong until I BLAST OUT OF HERE to be THERE with you!

I Am My Beloved’s and He Is Mine

Please indulge me as I’m still living in the precious moments of my recent Holy Lands' trip. I spent most of yesterday going through my journal and taking note of God's special blessings. Needless to say, I felt so wrapped up in God’s love because of so many incidents that brought heaven to earth to me. I read the words just before I left on the trip: "I know You are with me -- guiding, directing, keeping my feet on the pathways you are leading me on -- safe and protected! I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE!" Just look at how those words played out!

First of all – just being able to go on this trip with my dear friends, Charles Michie and Sheila Michie, who were my loving guardian angels – yes, I need double-duty from angels (those in the spirit realm and in the natural). LOL! Because they had flown out a couple of days earlier to Rome, I went it alone until I flew into Houston to meet the other travelers. Of course, God, in His loving kindness, provided me with angels there – dear Tony & Ruby Urbina. There was a divine connection the moment we met. It sincerely seemed like a “match made in heaven” for us. They were my Houston to Rome angels. They wouldn’t leave me for a minute. Tony would lead the way and say "Come on, Babies!" What a blessing they were to me, and then we met up with Mick and Sheila in Rome. They looked out for me in so many ways! We had so many laughs -- especially when we decided to go it alone in Rome, apart from our tour group. When Mick told Sheila and I to hide our name tags because we didn't want others to think we were tourists, Sheila and I fell apart laughing so hard. We had our cameras, our handbags and we were looking at a map -- so do you think we DIDN"T look like tourists without those name tags? LOL!

On the way home on Saturday, in the Frankfurt airport, our time was short, considering the long security checks at several different areas. When our last check came up, my carry-ons were held up. One, because I left a water bottle in one bag, and my computer in the other. Oh me. That delay certainly created some anxiety because our flight departure was soon. Mick and Sheila wouldn’t leave me. I told them to go ahead but they refused. They said “If you’re missing your flight – so will we!” Now that’s love. My bags were checked, and of all things, both were detected for explosives! Here came the police with their firearms. This cute policewoman (pictured below) sure eased my concern with her smiles and good English. Eventually I was released with time to spare and my buddies were there to hustle through with me.

Early on in our journeys, I told about the sweet couple that gave me a necklace "from my husband". That was special enough, but "the love" just kept coming. When I walked into a store just outside our hotel in Jerusalem, one of my fellow travelers called me over to look at a necklace he'd found for his wife who had to stay at home. They both are doctors. I was giving him my “two thumbs up” agreement with his decision, when the shopkeeper asked me for my ring size. He came back with this ring, pictured here. It is inscribed, in Hebrew, “I am my beloved’s and he is mine” – the scripture from Song of Solomon 6:3, and the words I wrote in my journal BEFORE leaving home. Of course, the tears flowed like a fountain because my Lord came through for me as I reminded Him in the beginning "I AM YOURS and YOU ARE MINE" and I knew, both He AND my sweetheart were with me on this journey. There were just too many set-ups. Indeed my Father does love the widows so much, that He continues to pour out blessings I can hardly contain. While I thought of the sweet love I had with my husband, I know that this ring represents the many ways that I belong to Jesus. I am my beloved’s by the gift of His purchase of me, paid by His own life; I am His by surrender, because I gave myself to Him. I am His and He is mine now and for all eternity.

You, too, are His beloved and He is yours. Just believe it, give Him your life and receive His love. I promise you, THAT love doesn't disappoint!

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father’s Day to all of the Fathers out there! Father’s Day brings me precious memories and so much gratitude -- for my own sweet daddy and my precious husband, who are celebrating this Father’s Day together in heaven. And especially for two of the most amazing Dads ever -- my two precious sons: Ryan Wuerch & Larry Wallace -- who are role models of love, integrity and honor for their children. I love you all today!, and my two awesome sons: Ryan & Larry, who are amazing fathers and who lead their families by God’s example of to them.

Yesterday, I asked my two youngest grandsons “What makes someone a good dad?” Of course, they thought about their own dad, when they said, “They are kind, they play outside with you, they give you love, they work hard for your family, they’re strong like my daddy, they love you, and my dad flips his eyelids inside out, and he makes us laugh.” Oh, my! The joy they bring me.

One of my all-time favorite songs for today’s celebration is by Phillips, Craig, and Dean, “I Want to Be Just Like You” – a prayer from a dad who wants to do his best to be like Father God, because his little boy wants to be like him. These words touch my heart so much. Following these lyrics is the link for this beautiful song. I pray you are so impressed by God's love, that you, too, want to be just like Him.

He climbs in my lap for a goodnight hug; He calls me Dad and I call him Bub, With his faded old pillow, a bear named Pooh, He snuggles up close and says, "I want to be like you."

I tuck him in bed and I kiss him goodnight; trippin' over the toys as I turn out the light; I whisper a prayer that someday he'll see. He's got a father in God 'cause he's seen Jesus in me.

Lord, I want to be just like You; 'Cause he wants to be just like me,
I want to be a holy example, for his innocent eyes to see.
Help me be a living Bible, Lord, that my little boy can read.
I want to be just like You; 'Cause he wants to be like me.

Got to admit I've got so far to go; make so many mistakes and I'm sure that You know.Sometimes it seems no matter how hard I try, with all the pressures in life I just can't get it all right,

But I'm trying so hard to learn from the best; being patient and kind, filled with Your tenderness; 'Cause I know that he'll learn from the things that he sees, and the Jesus he finds will be the Jesus in me.

Right now from where he stands, I may seem mighty tall, But it's only 'cause I'm learning from the best Father of them all. Lord, I want to be just like You; 'Cause he wants to be just like me, Want to be a holy example; for his innocent eyes to see. Help me be a living Bible, Lord, that my little boy can read. I want to be just like You; 'Cause he wants to be like me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z8bXcBRIU0 — with Larry Wallace and 2 others.