Hard Decisions Don't Come With a Flip of a Coin

We sat in a parking lot, staring blankly ahead with the doctor’s words still ringing in our ears. “Immediately, go for a CT scan so we can see how far the cancer has spread. This is a life or death situation.”

We were stunned despite the signs and the pain my husband had been in for months. But this man who I loved with all my being, was obstinate about the news. “I will not be afraid, and I will not succumb to doctors’ reports. I will place my trust in God, and I will not waver. No one, except God, is going to tell me what to do. And I need to talk with Him first.” We weren’t in agreement. I wanted us to at least get the tests and medical reports asap, so we knew what to be believing for, but he wasn’t about to be pushed around. I was in tears. His heels dug deep into the car's floorboard. I asked if I could call our daughter for prayer. He agreed. Her tender, loving voice said: “Let’s pray.” She prayed a prayer of absolute certainty that God was in control and we didn’t have to fear or dread. “Daddy, no one is making you have this surgery, but doesn’t it make sense to at least get the tests to see where everything is at?” Daddy’s girl got to Daddy’s heart AND stubbornness. And so, the pain in his back that he tolerated for months, set us on a course for a journey of faith like we never imagined.

We found ourselves facing a critical juncture in our faith. The tests, the results and the doctors’ absolute insistence on the emergency surgery to remove the tumor that consumed his #10 vertebrae or face being paralyzed, created a dilemma. We could do nothing, stand strong and believe that God had a long life of health and wellness ahead and live in a state of anxious denial (a place he’d been living for too long already). Or, we submit to the medical professionals’ recommendations and work toward finding acceptance, faith and peace in God’s guidance – step by step daily. After united prayer with our family – the latter was chosen. Surgery would take place in a couple of days. The hard choices of life don’t usually come with a flip of a coin. Sometimes it takes a village to help us decide.

And, sometimes peace is a choice that doesn’t always come naturally for us. My husband was that guy that liked to be in control of, well, everything. Mr. Type-A personality wanted to know exactly how the day would go and then manipulate his surroundings to fit what feels safe, secure, and right to him. That worked well for him for years, but life didn’t comply with his version of how things should be. He had to release his grip on control which was more difficult for him than the cancer.

Why am I deliberating on what happened almost ten years ago? Because, I sense that there are many who are, by nature – control freaks – like my husband was – and you are having to release control in your lives – particularly since Covid sprung itself on our world. Once we settled into the rhythm of peace, trust, and hope, the next few months, though often grueling, were also times of comfort and witnessing God’s amazing grace -- time and time again. God’s Word filled in the weak places with scriptures like Isaiah 54:10, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, Who has compassion on you.”

In the months that followed, we found ourselves navigating into the unknown, and sometimes didn’t really feel the peace, but we knew it was there for the taking, like that scripture says. So, we made a choice to believe it, whether we felt it or not. And, here I am these ten years later, and I daily choose to believe that the peace that surpasses all understanding still covers my life even when it’s chaotic and stress-filled.

I believe that is what Horatio Spafford had in mind when he penned the words “It is well with my soul” after losing his son, his business, and then his four daughters (who drowned in a shipwreck). It is well -- doesn’t mean declaring that we are unaffected in the face of hardship. It is simply choosing to believe that love, peace, and hope are true. That they are promises we can believe no matter what comes our way. So, though my heart hurt when I was my husband’s midwife after months of doing all we could do and praying all we could pray to get him well, I chose peace and hope knowing that God would redeem my pain. And He has. He will for you, too.

I Pinky Promise

I love having those intimate, one-on-one times with my grands. Many times they are unfiltered and they say what they think……and they say what they shouldn’t think! I’ll see their eyes pleading with me “Nana, please don’t tell anyone I told you that!” And I reply with action “I won’t. Pinky promise!”

The pinky promise (or pinky swear) is a custom often done by kids who interlink their pinkies as they exchange a promise. But it originated with Japanese mobsters as the highest form of all promises when a wronged party may sever the pinky of the promise breaker. YIKES! I remember saying “I cross my heart, hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eyes….if I break my promise.” Other’s say “My lips are sealed!” Oh, the latter is so less harmful to our well-being. I think that’s the road I’ll travel!

But what if we didn’t even need any of those clichés or quotes? What if our word was so good that a contract wasn’t needed or any other agreement because our word could be taken to the bank? God’s Word has this to say about a promise or a pledge:
~ Numbers 30:2 “If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”
~ Matthew 5:37 “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.”

Simply put, those scriptures mean our word is sacred. I know this shows my age – back in the good old days, but when I was growing up, a promise and a hand-shake were all you needed. Contracts weren't really necessary and it was an insult to insist on one. Why? Because a man’s word was his bond. No one was willing to risk their reputation by breaking their word. But as a real estate broker for many years now, if there’s anything I know – contracts and agreements are essential to bind parties together – signed, sealed and delivered. Because not all men or women treat their “word” as sacred.

But in our desire to be a devoted follower of Christ, who set the example of honesty and truth, we want to emulate Him and be known as one who is as good as our word! Role models who show what character, integrity, and honor is -- is what our generation needs today. You see, what we tell others through our words is what they’ll come to believe about us. If we say we’re going to do something, then we’d best follow through as people will judge us not only on what we say, but on what we do. If we accomplish what we say we’re going to do, then our words hold power in the future… we gain the trust of others.

Words, in essence. become a perfect reflection of our character in a positive light -- our actions will even speak louder than our words. People will value what we say and do. Somebody once said “You are your word” and it is so true.

I’m purposing to be a Promise Keeper – pinky promise, cross-my-heart, lips are sealed – my word is good. How about you?

Where Two Shall Agree.....

I’m in my cozy chair all set for my morning devotion and prayer time and I remember the sweetest surprise last weekend. My dear friends, Charles and Sheila Michie, invited several mutual friends over for a pot luck meal. Little did I realize it was a set-up to celebrate my birthday (26th). I was so grateful for this precious time of, literally, breaking bread together.

Christ started that fellowship when He broke bread with His disciples. Coming together to celebrate Him in us and us in Him. Some of my favorite memories involve yummy food and sharing God's love and caring like this. Scripture shows us how important it was to God for us to break bread together. Acts 2:42,46: "They continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart."

Like that scripture says "breaking of bread, and in prayers", that's how it played out for us Saturday night. Following our meal, we headed to the Great Room where we sang and praised God that led right into individual prayer for each of us. At one point, I sensed the importance of the prayer of agreement for couples and for any of us who need a prayer of agreement. That kind of prayer is similar to a contract. I know what it means to have a binding contract having been in the real estate business for over 40 years. Contracts are the tool used to legally bind the parties in agreement to the specific terms and acts.

An executed contract is a done deal like Jesus' words in Matthew 18:20 about agreement -- when we take those words to heart and action. “I tell you, if two of you on earth AGREE about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.” That, my friends, is a 3-fold agreement contract. A husband, wife AND God the Father. A friend, another friend AND God the Father. Think about this tremendous tool God has given us. So when I hear someone say “I set myself in agreement with your prayer – maybe for a desire for a better job, the well-being of a child or family member, or wisdom coming when making a big decision -- an agreement is taking place. Bottom line – because we’ve initiated a binding contract, we will NOT come out of agreement with them.

It is beautiful when a couple joins hands, prays and agrees together. The answer to that prayer is not up to us. It is up to Jesus’ words that when we agree in prayer, in the presence of God, it will be done by our Father in His perfect timing and His perfect way. Especially, when couples are able to breakout of their stand-off when they are in dis-agreement and come together in solidarity IN agreement, mountains move, waters are parted and heaven touches earth. I assure you….I speak from the many answers to prayer that my husband and I received because of our agreements in prayer.

The enemy desires for us to get into dis-agreements because he comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). But, Jesus came to give us abundant life and has given us the “how-to” by staying IN-agreement with Him and each other. Imagine the walls coming down in our marriages, our families, our businesses, our finances, and our health as two come together in unity and in agreement. Nothing is impossible with God, when we agree.