Hard Decisions Don't Come With a Flip of a Coin

We sat in a parking lot, staring blankly ahead with the doctor’s words still ringing in our ears. “Immediately, go for a CT scan so we can see how far the cancer has spread. This is a life or death situation.”

We were stunned despite the signs and the pain my husband had been in for months. But this man who I loved with all my being, was obstinate about the news. “I will not be afraid, and I will not succumb to doctors’ reports. I will place my trust in God, and I will not waver. No one, except God, is going to tell me what to do. And I need to talk with Him first.” We weren’t in agreement. I wanted us to at least get the tests and medical reports asap, so we knew what to be believing for, but he wasn’t about to be pushed around. I was in tears. His heels dug deep into the car's floorboard. I asked if I could call our daughter for prayer. He agreed. Her tender, loving voice said: “Let’s pray.” She prayed a prayer of absolute certainty that God was in control and we didn’t have to fear or dread. “Daddy, no one is making you have this surgery, but doesn’t it make sense to at least get the tests to see where everything is at?” Daddy’s girl got to Daddy’s heart AND stubbornness. And so, the pain in his back that he tolerated for months, set us on a course for a journey of faith like we never imagined.

We found ourselves facing a critical juncture in our faith. The tests, the results and the doctors’ absolute insistence on the emergency surgery to remove the tumor that consumed his #10 vertebrae or face being paralyzed, created a dilemma. We could do nothing, stand strong and believe that God had a long life of health and wellness ahead and live in a state of anxious denial (a place he’d been living for too long already). Or, we submit to the medical professionals’ recommendations and work toward finding acceptance, faith and peace in God’s guidance – step by step daily. After united prayer with our family – the latter was chosen. Surgery would take place in a couple of days. The hard choices of life don’t usually come with a flip of a coin. Sometimes it takes a village to help us decide.

And, sometimes peace is a choice that doesn’t always come naturally for us. My husband was that guy that liked to be in control of, well, everything. Mr. Type-A personality wanted to know exactly how the day would go and then manipulate his surroundings to fit what feels safe, secure, and right to him. That worked well for him for years, but life didn’t comply with his version of how things should be. He had to release his grip on control which was more difficult for him than the cancer.

Why am I deliberating on what happened almost ten years ago? Because, I sense that there are many who are, by nature – control freaks – like my husband was – and you are having to release control in your lives – particularly since Covid sprung itself on our world. Once we settled into the rhythm of peace, trust, and hope, the next few months, though often grueling, were also times of comfort and witnessing God’s amazing grace -- time and time again. God’s Word filled in the weak places with scriptures like Isaiah 54:10, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, Who has compassion on you.”

In the months that followed, we found ourselves navigating into the unknown, and sometimes didn’t really feel the peace, but we knew it was there for the taking, like that scripture says. So, we made a choice to believe it, whether we felt it or not. And, here I am these ten years later, and I daily choose to believe that the peace that surpasses all understanding still covers my life even when it’s chaotic and stress-filled.

I believe that is what Horatio Spafford had in mind when he penned the words “It is well with my soul” after losing his son, his business, and then his four daughters (who drowned in a shipwreck). It is well -- doesn’t mean declaring that we are unaffected in the face of hardship. It is simply choosing to believe that love, peace, and hope are true. That they are promises we can believe no matter what comes our way. So, though my heart hurt when I was my husband’s midwife after months of doing all we could do and praying all we could pray to get him well, I chose peace and hope knowing that God would redeem my pain. And He has. He will for you, too.

To Be Thankful is to Be Peaceful

Back in the day, my husband, his sister, a friend, and myself made up the Masters IV Quartet. We were known for our renditions of Andrae Crouch’s beautiful songs. Andrae was a well-known gospel singer, songwriter, arranger, record producer and pastor. He penned these words that were our testimony and I’m sure you might call them yours, too:

“I've had many tears and sorrows / I've had questions for tomorrow / There's been times I didn't know right from wrong / But in every situation / God gave me blessed consolation / that my trials come to only make me strong.

Through it all / through it all / I've learned to trust in Jesus / I've learned to trust in God. / Through it all / through it all / I've learned to depend upon His Word.”

Andrae wrote that song based on the struggles and wins in his own life. John Newton wrote “Amazing Grace” based on his spiritual conversion after having been a slave trader. And, Horatio Spafford wrote “It is Well with My Soul” after the death of his son and subsequently the loss of his four daughters when their ship sank. Horrific struggles in life often produce some of the greatest masterpieces of our lives. As I think about my own life’s struggles – there is an unexplainable thread of peace woven throughout my story and I’m sure, if alive, those authors of some of the most renown songs ever written would tell us the same thing. A powerful peace was prevalent that centered them in the awareness of God’s presence.

The truly thankful person is a truly peaceful person – no matter what! Thankful people have created a habit of noticing, pausing and choosing. Noticing “something” to be thankful about no matter the circumstance. Pausing to acknowledge this “something” as a reminder of God’s presence. Choosing to focus on God’s presence until His powerful peace consumes us. I know this “season” has given us plenty of reasons to be in fear, concern, disappointment and angst about what the future holds. But, will we come through this time unscathed because we’ve been noticers? Pausers? Choosers? Were we people of thanksgiving no matter what the circumstances were?

The greatest examples of the power of thanksgiving are found in sacred scriptures. What was the prayer of Daniel right before being thrown into the lions’ den and witnessing God miraculously shutting the lion’s mouths? Thanksgiving. After three days in the belly of a fish, what was the cry of Jonah’s heart right before he was finally delivered onto dry land? Thanksgiving. What was St. Paul’s mode of operation in the prison cell and how did he instruct us to pray in Philippians 4:6? “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God."

And what was the outcome of each of these situations where thanksgiving was proclaimed? Peace -- powerful, unexplainable, uncontainable peace. Paul went on to write: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7).

I wonder what might happen if we decide in the midst of our circumstances to notice, pause and choose something to be thankful about today. Let’s pray about it!

Dear Lord, will You help me notice things that I can be thankful for in each circumstance I face today? To remember to pause and acknowledge it as evidence of Your presence? And please help me choose to focus on Your presence until Your powerful peace rushes into my heart and helps me see everything more clearly. Thank You for the reality that being thankful changes everything. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

Welcome to my SANCTUARY!

While having my morning devotion time, I looked at the sign on my fireplace hearth, SANCTUARY, that I see every day. But yesterday it resonated with me more than ever. I looked at the back of it to see when it was that my friend gave it to me. It is dated October 10, 2010. That was just before my precious husband had a pain pump surgically placed in his body to help subside the pain he suffered for so long. Though the surgery was successful, we still had to make the decision to go on hospice.

SANCTUARY: a place of refuge or safety, haven, shelter, hideaway, port in a storm.

Indeed, my friend knew that we needed to be reminded of the SANCTUARY we have in our relationship with God. I remember that because we determined that our home would be a SANCTUARY in that season of our lives. Indeed, we had peace and joy throughout the remaining days of my Sweetheart's life. As I wrote that word in my journal, I knew it would be my word of the day because I sensed it might be a word that some of my friends, who are facing some tough times, need to become familiar with because of the place of refuge, shelter, port in the storm they need today.

So how do we find that place of peace and the place to escape from the everyday stressors of life – an escape from busyness and chaos! That place where we find peace in our hearts and souls when with everything in us, wants to run for our lives.

We watched a lot of basketball when our daughter played in high school. We always loved having “home court advantage” over the visiting team. The home team fans were out in droves and the team spirit elevated our team's thinking AND their game. Home court advantage applies to the SANCTUARY that our home becomes as a haven of peace, love and rest when we treat it that way. It becomes our "home court advantage".

The politics. The news. The shootings. The weather. The hate. The worry. I turn the news on and then I turn it off quickly. It reminds me why I rarely, if ever, watch those live news broadcasts anymore. I don’t have the stomach OR heart for it all. The combative nature in people these days and the us vs. them mentality wears on my spirit. I don’t quite know what to make of it all, but as I sit down to write loving, comforting words for myself and for my readers, God places my attention on a little sign that says, “SANCTUARY” with a scripture reference of Mark 6:31 “Come away to a secret place and rest for while” that reels me back in to what matters most.

I don’t know what your world looks like today. You may have young children jumping off of the furniture and climbing in your pantry. Their sibling rivalry is at peak performance. Your spouse may be overloaded in worries and care. Your to-do list is way too long to stop in at the SANCTUARY. I know that atmosphere. It is very familiar to me. But what became the most familiar to me and the priority in my home was making God -- my deepest source of meaning, unconditional love and real peace. It can be found -- even in small increments of time. I promise you, when our priority is, first and foremost, going to the SANCTUARY sometime throughout our day, it will create a settled, peace-filled home because of the presence of a holy, loving, awe-inspiring God. When we ask Him to settle into our homes and our home-life with us, He does it. He is available, present and more life-giving and peace-giving than everything else combined.

Today, I offer you a glance at my sign. SANCTUARY. Doesn’t that sound like a relief, hearing it put like that? That lovely, reassuring place of safety. Relief from all the ugliness out there. A break from it all. What if SANCTUARY looked like nothing more complicated than a hot, comforting cup of coffee? A cozy pair of slippers. A fire in the fireplace. A pen in our hand, a blank page beckoning, with a Bible or devotional book nearby. Going to the SANCTUARY and having moments of quiet, deep peace and rest and the assurance “It is well with my soul.”

"Prepare for the Worst; Pray for the Best"

Those are words we've continued to hear during the anticipation and preparation for Hurricane Irma as it "barrels toward Florida". At 6:30 am, Florida time, I'm watching Fox News and I'm thankful to hear "we're praying" over and over. So many people huddled up in their homes, storm shelters, packed airports with all flights grounded, and many evacuated to safer places. Dear God, we pray for all those who don't know what today or tomorrow holds. May they call out to You, Who knows, for mercy and strength and may "It Be Well With Their Souls".

"It Is Well With My Soul" is a hymn written by Haratio Spafford, that I've sung during some of my own darkest hours. It tells me through my tears, God is the only ONE that sees the beginning from the end and that I must stand, though the pain seems unbearable. I know God will somehow make a blessing come out of any tragedy I might find myself in because out of the ashes and pain, I can say “Even so, it is well with my soul.”

Spafford a successful lawyer and businessman in Chicago with a loving family — a wife, Anna, and five children, were no strangers to tears and tragedy. Their young son died from pneumonia in 1871, and in that same year, much of their business was lost in the great Chicago fire. Yet, in God's mercy, the business flourished.

On Nov. 21, 1873, the French ocean liner, Ville du Havre, was crossing the Atlantic from the U.S. to Europe with 313 passengers on board. Among the passengers were Mrs. Spafford (Anna) and their four daughters. Haratio would be joining his family a few days later. Four days into the crossing of the Atlantic, the ship collided with a powerful, iron-hulled Scottish ship. Anna hurriedly brought her four children to the deck. She knelt there with them and prayed that God would spare them if that could be His will, or to make them willing to endure whatever awaited them. Within approximately 12 minutes, the ship slipped beneath the dark waters of the Atlantic, carrying with it 226 of the passengers, including the four Spafford children.

A sailor, rowing a small boat over the spot where the ship went down, spotted Anna floating on a piece of the wreckage. He pulled her into the boat and they were picked up by another large vessel which, nine days later, landed them in Cardiff, Wales. From there she wired her husband a message which began, “Saved alone, what shall I do?” Horatio booked passage on the next available ship and sailed to join his grieving wife. With the ship about four days out, the captain called Spafford to his cabin and told him they were over the place where his children went down.

According to Bertha Spafford Vester, a daughter born later after the tragedy, Spafford wrote this anthem ,“It Is Well With My Soul”, while on this journey. Can you imagine the broken heart of a loving father who found his solace and comfort in God and was able to pen it so that you and I can rise out of our darkest hours to sing along with him, "It is well with my soul."

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Chorus:
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul

PSALM 46:1-2 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea."

We’ve heard the quote “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” Tragedy can strike when we least expect it. Some crumble during suffering while others triumph over tragedy. Somehow they become better, not bitter; they rise to the occasion of hope and faith and without question, they recover much faster than others.

We’ve heard the quote “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” I'm praying for tough people this morning and I pray they triumph over whatever comes their way today. Oh how I pray that during these difficult times, God will draw especially close to them. May these experiences with our all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful Heavenly Father, teach us all that nothing is worth more than our relationship with Him. May God’s nearness be the most precious thing to them. Spafford knew this -- he knew soul-wellness—even in the midst of heartbreak. I pray that Floridians and all who face a crisis today come to know that Christ is WITH them and strengthens them. We we all sing the anthem of “It is Well With My Soul” today.